I had an interesting conversation today with someone on the topic of success.  And the theme of how to go about it… “by forcing or allowing?” has come up too many times over the last couple days so I felt compelled to write about it….

Now, this post may question all that you know about it, but try and have an open mind… This awareness has changed my life and it may do the same for you…

Growing up playing sports I believed that hard work was everything.  I pretty much identified myself with the fact that I was a hard worker.  I may not have been the most talented, but no one would out work me so I wore that badge of honor wherever I went.  I felt that it was why I was able to do everything in my athletic career.  I believed all that until now.

I think although some of that attitude was a reason for some of my successes, it was also my curse.  Who knows if I would have been better without that attitude, but I do know that I would have enjoyed myself more!!  And the truth is I probably would have played at the same level or better… without all that self imposed pressure.

Think of guys like Michael Jordan, who yes did work very hard, to get to where he was (they even make commercials about his hard work and dedication), but the truth is… he did make it look easy on the court.  

When he was in the zone…. It was effortless.  No amount of hard work, grit, and hours in the gym could have prepared him for those moments hitting 3 after 3.  That was purely a function of his mental state of allowing himself to perform.  Not by forcing, but by allowing…

I could honestly write for days and days on this topic and how I have put too much pressure on myself in my athletic career, in my business career, and just overall self esteem, all in the name of being a hard worker….. But I would rather just leave you with some questions…

There is training effort which should be diligent, hard working, and require some sacrifice.

Then there is performance time.

How often do you let a training mentality sacrifice your mental state when you need to perform?  Do you get nervous, anxious, or agitated before or during a game?  Do you let emotions lead to penalties or mistakes?  Have you ever analyzed what you should do too long that the play completely passed you by?

For me now, I apply this lesson to my life.  When I am forcing situations, they tend to get worse.  When I can relax into knowing that I am prepared and capable it frees me up to perform at my highest level.

If you feel that this is something that relates to you, think about how much time you spend getting better or practicing.  Then think about how much time you spend on your mental game and allowing.

Is it equal?